Goals Over Resolutions
It is officially that time of year where we all start listing the things we want to change in our lives. I never set resolutions for the year because that word is associated with massive change and a do over of something, but what I do set is goals, targets, and plans. They always vary each year and fall under a variety of categories and as the year goes on, I add to it or amend based on what I think is needed and achievable.
I feel that the word resolution is quite stiff and exact so when you sway from the resolution that you have set then it automatically feels like failure - like when someone gives up smoking as a resolution for the New Year then if they cave and have a smoke, they feel that the resolution is ruined, they give up by thinking ‘maybe next year’ and postpone it another year.
That is why I think it should be a goal not a resolution... at least this way you have a whole year to try. If you slip or waver from it there is always time to try again OR even if you end the year still trying that is still brilliant because you will have begun the change or be getting closer and closer to what it is that you want to achieve.
I (being me) break my goals or plans into categories like Personal, Health, Work, Creative, Wellbeing etc. It doesn't mean we all must have multiple goals because just one goal or plan is great! I always think if it's one thing you want to work on and you achieve it/make progress with it then all the other aspects of life are enriched.
2020 was an interesting year for us all! We were challenged in many ways, and we were all put in a position where when something was thrown our way that it was not avoidable, we had to face it and chose how we react to it. Some of us excelled this year, some of us fell apart, and some of us were a mixture of the two. I personally had a good year it wasn’t the year that I wanted of course, but I made the conscious decision from the beginning to just deal with it… the first few months was like everyone else's just keeping myself entertained by zooming, eating, and drinking because Lockdown 1 for me was about just dealing with it! Then when it was clear that this was not going away soon.. that's when dealing with it transitioned into adapting to the situation indefinitely - it may sound easier said than done and I agree with that because I do not adapt well to change! I like plans, structure, and routine so for me adapting and sucking it up was MAJOR, but somehow I just did it.
What I learned from 2020 about myself which may be already clear to others, but I wasn’t aware of is that you can throw Pandemics at me, a huge crisis, a disaster, and I am calm as Fuck. When everyone was losing their shit or anxious about everything going on I didn’t even blink…BUT when something tiny and insignificant was thrown at me I would snap, and the fuse would blow… like the other night I broke a wine glass...shit happens right? WRONG! It was the worst thing that happened, and I was fuming for hours! SO now I am very aware that just because I am calm and composed when shit goes down that doesn't mean I won't snap at any second - I am now fully aware that I am THE Poster Child for the phrase “The straw that broke the camel's back” and that the big stuff doesn't faze me in the slightest, but the small tiny things that come my way is what wakes the (sparkly tiara wearing) dragon!
From realising this I then discovered that this is due to massive and impactful things happening throughout my life (Cue the violins please Maestro) I'm not going into detail coz I don’t really share personal things publicly, but what I noticed on reflection is that if I was telling a friend something that is just something that happened, or I have experienced - their jaws hit the floor and are shook with what I've said…. to me it's just the norm but turns out it's not very normal! So that's what I discovered this year that life changing, book selling material, and out of the ordinary life experiences are nothing to me…. but fucking hell don’t break a wine glass, or your girl will implode and kill everyone you know and love!!
So, with that in mind and slightly off track to where I was going with this blog… that is something I've taken from this year and obviously it is something I will work on personally in the year to come! When I break the next glass will I implode and decide well I tried and failed? NO! I will start over and try again! Will I handle the small things better by the end of 2021? Maybe! But even if I don’t, I'm sure some progress will be made if I keep attempting to calm the fuck down when milk (ok wine!) spills.
It's not about succeeding in the first month and being a winner, it's about failing a little bit, picking yourself back up, building character, embracing the challenge, and giving the goal a chance at longevity and becoming permanent.
I wish you luck in whatever it is that you hope to achieve in 2021. Eyes on the prize! It is OK to have hurdles and divert from the finish line! But also, don't fuck up entirely because the status of 'Hot Mess' is a temporary luxury...after a while you're just a wreck Hun! LOL
Happy New Year!
Stay Boujee & Stay Safe xxx
NOTE: Dedicating this Blog and this years progress to my Wednesday Wine Group and My Work Gals.... ye all kept me sane and distracted during the madness, ye all kept me laughing when the rest of the world was crying, ye were all just a perfect example of what NOT to do or be (mess), and ye were all simply just there as a safety net in case we decided to just plummet to our deaths! LOL! xxx