No joke - June is dead to me! What was that month?! I don’t know about you, but that must have been the most intense month I have ever experienced - everyone and everything was crazy. The world became overly sensitive about everything and for the first time in 30 years I was actually afraid to speak because I had this constant fear of thinking if I said something that people were just waiting to start an argument or to challenge it in an aggressive manner. I considered that maybe it was a lesson I had to learn and that maybe I had to see what it’s like to not be able to speak out, but as much as I would like to say that this was a lesson learned it is simply not true. What I did learn was some discipline though, because the amount of times I wanted to say something harsh or lash out was countless but I chose not to because it would have just added fuel to this over the top and overly dramatic fire. I guess now that I’m reflecting I can see the month wasn’t entirely wasted and I did take something from it, but at the same time believe me when I say June is dead to me.
June was filled with so much negativity and hate that I found myself feeling things I never felt before. I never really fell under the category of Positive or Negative because I am and always will be a realist. Sometimes people think realists are negative, but when that statement has been made it's simply because not everyone wants to hear the truth or accept the facts...and facts are facts America!
What I did realise though is that negativity really has such and impact on how we feel and how we think, and I have no shame in admitting now that the amount of Negativity that happened in the last month had a huge impact on the person I am. If there is positivity I will look for it while being very realistic, but this past month made that almost impossible for me. I found it so difficult to see the light in so many situations because there was so much darkness, but that’s when I remembered the saying “I can see the sun, but even if I cannot see the sun, I know that it exists. And to know that the sun is there - that is living” I have always loved that saying by Fyodor Dostoyevsky and this month more than ever I needed it to resonate within me. The world has felt like it is filled with so much darkness, but there is still a lot of light, and the way I am looking at it now is that it is just night time and even though the night is filled with darkness there are still Stars to break it up until the sun shines again.
I can see the sun, but even if I cannot see the sun, I know that it exists. And to know that the sun is there - that is living - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
I am very happy that today is the last day of June and I am so eager for the start of a new month, but I know that just because it’s a new month doesn’t mean that everything will change at midnight when it becomes July - It is completely up to me to close off June, leave behind the darkness, take with me what I have learned, and to find the light in July.
I understand that darkness is always there for some people and sometimes we feel we have no choice but to sit in the dark, but there is always a light switch its just up to us as individuals to find the switch and choose to turn on the light or not.
I have decided to switch on the light for this new month and leave it on all night - July is going to be an absolute RAVE! I know a lot of you have been feeling the darkness and negativity, and I know a lot of you are struggling right now, but as Cliche as it sounds it really is OK not to be OK, just remember as stated in Les Miserables:
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise”
Stay Boujee & Switch On The Light xxx