It’s quiet strange because this time last year when I was about to turn 29 I remember how I was overthinking and a bit anxious that I was about to have my last birthday in my 20’s. I found myself wondering was I at the stage in my life where most people should be but this year I have had more personal growth then I think I have had any other year and now I have zero concerns about turning 30, or where I should be, or what is expected of me by this age. At this point and time, I am ready to be 30 because I really am done with my 20’s and ready to just move on to the next decade.
I feel that in my 20's I learned a lot, I made the majority of my mistakes and learned from them all but I think with each mistake and each year I came closer and closer to finding things out about myself and then had the balls to accept who that person is. It took me the best part of 25 years to realise that not everyone can be everybody’s cup of tea that I can’t be liked by everyone nor can I like everyone but the key for me is to not dislike someone just because they aren’t my kind of person that unless I have a valid reason to dislike someone based on something they have done then that is different but until I do I believe I have no right to judge someone for being themselves or their character traits. Like I am aware I can’t be liked by everyone and the reason I may be disliked would be a character trait because I don’t actually do anything to anyone but at the same time I will say it exactly how it is and there won’t ever be a question of where you stand with me.
I do find it very easy to cut someone out if they are toxic and I don’t care how awkward it is on anyone else when I choose to do that because I have learned that what suits me is to cut someone out and to just be civil when paths cross because I will not put myself in a position where I have to be around someone who is toxic to me and my mentality, and I flat out refuse to fake smile and play happy family with someone who does not have my welfare or best interest at heart. Of course we all make mistakes and can’t rule out human error but I think we all know the difference between a good person who makes human errors and someone who is just a dickhead who thrives on negativity and causing problems.
Learning to master how to control all the negative and cut the toxic is just one area but what I have come to learn is that focusing mainly on the positive and embracing everything and every day for what it is should always triumph. I know we all have bad days and some days need to just be over and done with but I think every single day has a positive in it or something to take away from it. So with that in mind I spent the last year adding things that I’ve read and learned to a list. I have listed them all below because right now and so far in my 30 years these are the things I’ve learned and what I need to take with me into the next chapter and decade.
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
3. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
4. Your family should be your strength and your weakness
5. Pay your bills every month
6. Enjoy your own company
7. Put yourself first because no one else will or should
8. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
9. Don't compare your life to others because you have no idea what their journey is all about.
10. A woman does not have to be a Mother to have a fulfilled life
11. Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them up
12. Love unconditionally and apologetically even if it’s just one person
13. The hardest work anyone does in life is to appear normal
14. Take pride in your appearance and don’t not dress up out of fear of being labelled vain
15. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
16. Burn the candles! Use the nice sheets! Wear the fancy lingerie! Don't save things for special occasions. Today is special.
17. Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes
18. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
19. Balance is everything in every aspect of your life
20. The most important sex organ is the brain.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
23. What other people think of you is none of your business.
24. Your job won't take care of you when things go wrong. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
25. Believe in miracles.
26. Be mindful of your last words to someone because they might just be that.
27. If we all put our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
29. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
30. You are more defined by what comes out of your mouth than what goes in it.
31. Rule your mind or it will rule you.
32. It's in losing yourself that you find yourself.
33. Be yourself. “…those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind”
34. Money will NEVER solve your real problems
35. Your health is your most valuable asset
36. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
37. Never regret a day in your life: good days give happiness, bad days give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories.
38. When you find no solution to a problem, it's probably not a problem to be solved. But, rather a truth to be accepted.
39. What’s for you won’t pass you by (my Mam always says this).
40. Life is like an elevator: on your way up, sometimes, you have to stop and let some people off.
41. Never confuse people who are always around you, with people who are always there for you.
42. Fall seven times, stand up eight.
43. Get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.
44. Do (and wear) what you want.
45. Go through life like a duck: Majestic on top, kicking like hell underneath
46. When you are angry write an email but don't send it
47. You are the one who decides your role in life and you own identity. Society should not be the one doing that.
48. Never go to bed angry.
49. Be Brave enough to say yes but be confident enough to say no
50. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt
That is what I have learned so far and know to be true but still have to work on some of the things I have listed. I am not perfect and have no intention to ever be perfect.
I am happy, healthy, and the people I love also love me! and at the end of the day that is all that really matters and is what I would consider as someone who is successful by 30 and living a good life.
Staying Boujee xx